I'm trying to get Aus in to see the doctor at the same time as my appointment today at 4:15, because he's caught my sinus problem. This should be a fairly simple thing, right? Wrong.

27 minutes on hold, shuffled through the phone system three times, only to be given to someone's goddamn voice mail. Have I mentioned how much I hate the clinic? Well let me mention it again. Completely incompetent, surly staff members that barely tend to your needs. The doctor is nice, but you only see him for five minutes after waiting three hours if you manage to get through the phone maze to make an appointment to begin with.

I'm also pissed off that they sent us insurance cards we can't use until December first, because we could have gotten coverage in a timely manner, we wouldn't be doing this song-and-dance with the clinic yet-a-fucking-gain.

That thing with the sinuses has gone down into my chest now, so I'm kind of coughing and rumbling in addition to being all nasally congested. The steroids and antibiotics they gave me at the hospital must be helping on some level, because now at least I don't feel the dreadful pressure in my ears and head so much.

In other news, I wrote two stories to kick my nano efforts off yesterday. Here's hoping that I'll be able to do some more writing when I'm done with being pissed off, and/or back from the clinic. (Note: this is not very likely. I just called the doctor back and in addition to all the usual hold garbage, I got a notice that says 'You are seventh in line'. Fucking balls.)

I also spent some time yesterday watching the V marathon on the Sci Fi channel (I refuse to use their new name - when did they start with that lameness?). V was one of my favorites as a teenager, and I'm looking forward to the remake. I really hope they don't ruin it.

Back on the phone with the doctor... fifteen minutes and two shuffles so far. A bit of yelling and DO NOT GIVE ME TO VOICEMAIL later, and I'm finally making what might be progress. Then they put me on hold. Again. Another interminable wait.... then they fucking put me through to the voice mail. Where I told them not to send me. Twice. This is extremely non-helpful.

Today we drove to Newark, Delaware in search of CiCi's Pizza Buffet - which yes, pretty much rocks. All the pizza, salad, pasta, and dessert you can eat for six dollars. Yes indeed. We stopped at a nice park in New Castle too - walked by the water and down a pier and everything.

Along the way, we saw what might very well be the most hilarious business name ever - Analtech! We pulled over just to take pictures. As you can see, I made one into an icon.

All the pictures (taken by Aus) can be found up here on Facebook.

Things are going much better. My blood pressure has been fairly stable, and I have been continuing my recovery. I still get really tired after doing too much, but the amount I can do before reaching that point of exhaustion is increasing. Aus just got offered a perminant possition with the company he's been temping for the past eight months - it comes with a very nice pay raise that will allow us to afford their health plan. So that will help me get even better care for the problems I'm having, which is hopefully going to make a big difference.

Situation around the house is a little less stressful. There's one kid living at home - who is (hopefully) going to rehab soon to get over her drug problems. We found a place for her to go with state funding, but so far they havent' had any beds available. One is going to start college in a few weeks - she's living with friends near campus and working down at the casino a couple days a week as well. The boy, well - he's still a skate bum living with his friends and not doing much of anything other than odd jobs. But at least the one at home has been surprisingly calm and fairly cooperative- probably because she's off the drugs and therefore less crazed.

I'm still not writing as much as I should be. It's hard to channel all my rp characters except Val right now (boy is always easy, hah) and I haven't worked on any serious writing for ages. But right now I am focusing on what I can do, and what makes me happy. Part of it goes back to that tiredness, too.

The lilacs are blooming, which always puts me in mind of the Walt Whitman poem. I performed that and O Captain, My Captain once for high school forensics (public speaking sort of deal - not to be confused with the dead people kind) and I have been fond of them since. Other signs of spring - a herd of eight deer spotted by the side of the road, the birds flying in pairs, all sorts of insects and animals starting to run about again.

I went for a bike ride with my brother today, and would like to go walking this weekend if the weather and time permit.

I am just about to start reading Geek Love which Ash and Jess both said was really good. I am also going to start in on some comics as recommended by Dien, but I do not know where to start as yet. Too many choices!

I am feeling a little unwell today, though likely from allergies. There is swine flu reported in the next county over, but I'm not going to get paranoid over it. Aus made dinner for us tonight - he's such a good husband.

Our shed should be here in about a week- then it will be time to get the book business going again. It is also almost time to put the houseplants out on the deck for the growing season.

Meme time:

(stolen from Jeffie - which I totally pronounce as Hef-ay sometimes in my head just because I can)
1. Tell you why I friended you.
2. Associate you with something - fandom, a song, a color, a photo, a word etc.
3. Tell you something I like about you.
4. Tell you a memory I have of you.
5. Ask something I've always wanted to know about you.
6. Tell you my favorite user pic of yours.
7. In return, you must post this in your Lj.

I was just starting to get over the sinus problem when I went and caught something else. Aus was coughing and phlegming and had a 102.7 fever yesterday. Today my lungs are burning and I am feverish and phlegmy so I am guessing I have caught that. Aus is feeling somewhat better today - at least the fever is gone. But can we just get over this round of illnesses already?


I would like to be healthy again, or well, at least what usually passes for healthy. My normal aches and pains are nothing compared to this.

Valentine's day was nice, but I was sick so it was a little hard to enjoy as much as I would have liked. I got Aus a nice jacket and some boxer shorts (Family Guy, South Park, Scarface, and Mario, hehe) and some candy. He got me a singing card (it plays My Girl), candy, and a stuffed animal. He also said he is going to get me satellite radio when we can afford it (because I keep complaining about how the radio around here sucks, hah).

Today the sinus problem I have been having got so bad I went to the emergency room - they gave me a cat scan and sure enough, I have sinusitis - they're pretty much all plugged up, too. Like every sinus cavity I have? Not functioning. I have to take three weeks of antibiotics, and they gave me vicodin for the pain. I have an appointment with my doctor on Thursday. They also said my blood pressure was up. I need to drink lots of fluids (overhydrate, they said) and said I should get plenty of rest (hah! around here? Not likely).

Now Aus, being a good husband, called work and asked if he could work from home for the next couple of days so I wouldn't have to drive and so he could look after me. His work agreed to that, so yay.

Jeanette, being the spoiled brat that she is, screamed and bitched about how I wasn't really 'that sick!' and and I 'better be taking her to work in the morning because oh my god who cares what you need!' There are times when I really dislike the people I gave birth to an awful lot. I really hope they grow out of it to be nice people someday - but sadly I am getting less and less sure that will ever happen. They're really not pleasant to live with at all, hardly ever now - the older they get, the more unpleasant they get. The girls are 18 now (as they remind us on a continual basis usually followed by 'so I don't have to listen to you' followed by some expletive), so you think they'd be acting in a more adult manner. When I was 18, I had a job down at the casino and I was working 40 hours plus overtime, and getting myself to work. They.. hang around, mooch, borrow money for cigarettes when they blow through their paychecks, are grateful for nothing and fight with each other and us on a near continual basis. Very stressful and definitely not helpful in the current situation at all.

I have been ravenously hungry and I feel like no matter how much I drink, it isn't enough. Probably from my body trying to fight this off.

Aus and I went out for a walk today at Batsto. We have pictures up here on Gather, and I made a new icon from one.




We have to get up at ass o'clock on the morning tomorrow - Aus is returning to work for the dude he's been working for, who finally has more work for him (Longggg holiday break, not that we minded). Who knows how many days this week or next? We shall see.

My brother Joe's coming to visit from VA this weekend (Friday I think?) and my brother Ron wants me and Aus to go over his place this weekend to fix a computer problem and help clip his dog (the three pound terrible terrier). Not much else planned this week, other than needing to finish up and post my column.

Has anyone seen my brains? They have no woken up yet, and I suspect they are sleeping in without me. Aus has to work overtime today (he's working a 12 hour shift) so he had to go in early this morning. I figured I would use this opportunity of being awake early to work on something... then realized that my mind is definitely not agreeable with this plan. I know what I need to be doing, I just lack the proper functioning to take the steps to do it.

So instead I present to you... random thoughts floating through my mind:

*crickets*
Sleepy L is sleepy
Why am I out of milk? I could have had cereal. Must go to store later
The colors I chose for my crochet project match the rug my aunt and uncle had back in like... 1970 something.
What does this say about my tastes?
Hans needs to stop being emo!Nazi while I am trying to sleep. I don't want his dreams.
Christian Historicals are quite possibly the worst thing I have ever read.
Yet I am still reading them, because I really want to answer that survey about just how bad they are.
My free Smithsonian subscription arrived yesterday, making this the 15th or so free magazine I now get (others include Hallmark, Family Circle, Blender, Spin, TV Guide).
I should really check the free stuff sites because I haven't lately.
I'm so sleepy, the inside of my eyelids hurt from being open when they should be closed.
Birds are a lot less cute when they're outside your window making chirp sounds. Shut up birdie!
None of my friends are up this early! Hah! Does this mean I win, or something?
...do I want to win? I could be sleeping too. There is this comfy surface called bed.
I'd just have to get out of bed in two hours to pick Brenda up from school.
...two hours is an acceptable amount of sleep, because consciousness is overrated.
sleep now = more brainpower to work later. Really.


Okay, I am giving in and going back to bed. Eff this morning stuff. Nothing good ever happens before noon anyhow.

So here we are, on the eve of the election. Get out there and vote tomorrow folks - preferably for Obama! Either way you vote, however - be sure to make an informed decision. There are no excuses - there's a ton of media out there on this wonderful box we call the internets - at least visit the candidates websites and see where they stand before you cast the ballot tomorrow.

Aus isn't feeling well today - and he had to work some overtime at work , so when he came home he went right to sleep. There's a cold going around too - my brother Ron is sick, and Jeanette. I've got a touch of some sinus thing that I've been taking the meds for - but I probably should just irrigate them with the neti pot because that seems to ward these things off much better. Even our betta is sick - poor guy seems to have Ick. Time to get some medicine for him.

Picked up a little leftover Halloween candy today. Hershey's Candy Corn Kisses are the shit! All the best parts of candy corn and kisses wrapped up into one yummy candy.

I'm up to 11,757 on the NaNo word count - which looks like this on the meter (back by popular, okay, one friend - request!) Remember, you can read the novel in progress at heckromancy if you join.

11757 / 50000 words. 24% done!

The first five chapters of my novel are written, and I'm up to a count of 9,920 words.

I am a bit worried with the election so close - what will our country be like in the next four years? Things are so bad now, and I can't imagine they will get any better if McCain is elected. With Obama, at least we have some hope for the future. I believe he will genuinely try to fix the things that are wrong with America and get us started on the road to sucking less as a nation. The only question is - will he be elected? And once elected, will what he tries to do be enough to save us?

I need to remember to pick up my prescriptions tomorrow.

Aus has had a bit of good fortune at work - he's now working on a different case, where he makes two dollars more an hour and has some overtime. Let us hope that this job somehow lasts long, or even becomes permanent. There are some promising signs- they keep telling him he's really good at this, for example.

Been a lot of driving lately - my back is not pleased with the back-and-forth direction life has taken me lately. I want to ride my bicycle tomorrow, so I hope it is feeling somewhat cooperative and not giving me a hard time and keeping me from doing what I want to do.

4,387 words of my NaNo novel are done so far - posted in heckromancy in two scenes. Remember you must join the community to read (it's quick and painless, promise), because it is posted friends only.

Today I have such a ridiculous schedule - I'm glad I had the time to sit down and actually write a second scene (I did the first last night after midnight). I took Aus to work (overtime ftw!) , then came back and took Brenda to work, then I have to pick Aus up, take Jeanette to a group job interview at the Hamilton Mall, then come back and pick Brenda up, then go pick Jeanette up from the interview. All this while Jeanette is busy screaming about how she should get to go to Olive Garden while she's at the mall, omg, how can we have other things to do this sucks and we're so unfair. Never mind anything I might have actually wanted to get done.

Try writing with THAT going on.

Went for my longest bike ride yet yesterday, with my brother Ron. My legs kind of hurt from it today though.

Last night we finally brought the houseplants inside - and just in time, too as it's raining like crazy today and we might even have snow flurries tomorrow. Yuck!

Aus got me some books in preparation for NaNo - the No Plot, No Problem book, the No Plot No Problem novel writing kit, and Self Editing for Fiction writers. Husband for the win! <3

Now I just need to make sure to keep my stress levels down, keep the kids from driving me crazy, and figure out the rest of the research I need to do before Nov 1st.

Thursday there's a NaNo get together in Hammonton that I might attend if I'm feeling together enough to be social with strangers.

Aus got to choose a free thingy from work for doing such a good job. The free thingy choices were tote bags, hats, shirts, stuff like that there - and one fuzzy orange blankey. He asked to feel the blankey so he could see if it was nice and soft - and it was, so he said he'd take that for his wife. That's me.

It is the most fuzzy and comfortable bright orange blankey ever.

And I have the best husband ever, too.

Well, our poor old betta fish died today. I changed his water and he flipped out and had a fishie seizure and died. I feel guilty, like I somehow caused his death by stressing him out - but at the same time he was old for a betta and he'd been sickly for a while so I know that's the real reason.

The kids have also been acting like complete jerks lately - it's really very stressful.

Aus's job is going well so far though - today they did some computer training, and he said their systems were acting up a bit but what he learned was easy enough to follow.

I need to find some quiet time to work on interviews and reviews. But it seems that by the time I get a moment's peace, I'm so exhausted from the stress that there's nothing I can do anyhow.

Today is my hubby's birthday, yay. Happy Birthday Aus!

We went to Batsto to walk around and have a nice picnic lunch. They put in a new audio tour by cell phone- pretty neat.

We also learned that the large mouth bass they keep at the nature center eats eight goldfish a day - about 2,700 per year.

So let's see.. in other news...

Bad things:
- still no word from the job Aus interviewed for - possibly another bit of false hope
- betta fish is sick , possibly just constipated, possibly dying
- lost a band lackey job
- no interview for column

Good things:
- went to the zoo Monday with mom and my brothers
- sold a couple of books this week
- finished book review for The Smart One
- finished Stouffers frozen dinner review
- wrote a poem/song thing (well, would be a song if I could write music)
- have two columns planned out


Still to do:
- Designated Daughter review
- read / review Dear Neighbor, Drop Dead
- write column


I have one more book to read after that too, but it hasn't arrived yet.

Just yesterday, we went to the Sweetwater Casino to celebrate my niece's birthday. Not twelve hours after we left, the place was struck by lightning and subsequently burnt to the ground. Read my article about it (including many pictures) here on Gather.

Today has just been a strange day - waking up and finding out about that was pretty surreal. This is a restaurant I've gone to all my life, that we've gone to on so many special occasions. Really strange to find out that it's gone so suddenly. I'm glad we got to go one last time. I hope they rebuild! A lady from the Atlantic City Press contacted me about the article and talked to my brother about the history of the area and talked to me about us going there yesterday and so on. So we might be in the Press tomorrow- that'd be cool. This is the second Gather article of mine that attracted some media attention - the first being this piece I did about someone arrested for terrorism in our hometown.

Then there was the eleven foot float on top of my car. No lie, it was really eleven feet long. Steve and his friend needed help transporting it to the beach - that thing was huge, and nearly flew off of my car.

I've given up hope that Aus will ever get another job. We will be trapped in this cycle of poverty and having nothing less than nothing forever, until we eventually die. If I happen to be wrong, then good, we'll be pleasantly surprised. But at least I won't be disappointed anymore when there's another thing we can't afford, and another job applied for that never calls. Of course. That's the way it is - never any money for anything, never any call backs. No hope left.

Aus's interview is postponed until Tuesday, so more time to be anxious about it and/or prepare, depending on how you look at it.

This coming week is going to be a busy one -

Tuesday - Aus's interview
Wednesday - Terami show in Mt. Airy/philly (if I can manage to steady my nerves enough to drive in the city and/or find someone to drive us)
Thursday - lunch with mom/Uncle Leon/Aunt Marie/Uncle Joe
Friday - hosting live chat with Roxane Orgill (author of Dream Lucky) for Gather

June 5th is the Rilo Kiley show in Philly at the Electric Factory. I have to get in touch if I want them to guest list me a couple of days before the show, but I haven't decided yet whether I want to go or not in light of recent circumstances. Our driver, Brian, can likely make it on that day so at least I won't have to drive in the city. But obviously, I'm still a bit displeased about things so I'm not sure whether or not I want to go. And it's the same material as last time, really. But this could be their last show at least for a while, so I might want to go see it. Jason is drumming with Bright eyes in July supposedly, and Jenny's new album is coming out in August? I think, and who knows what Blake is doing? Pierre's got his solo album. So eh, I'm undecided.

I tried something new with my column this week- I included a video playlist. Check it out if you're so inclined.

I'm going to try and spend some time with mom tomorrow as we haven't been hanging out much lately. We'll go to lunch and watch a movie, and maybe I'll show her more computer stuff. She loves learning about the computer, and she's doing pretty well, too.

In gaming news, we have a bunch of new players in OSI, yay! A couple of new folks in Stars too, so I'm hoping that'll be able to get moving well. Vie is pretty slow right now because we have so many people on hiatus for finals and the like, but I want to try and kick it along a little this weekend.

Things are Not Good right now. We have a fifty dollar check and a negative 16 dollar bank account to our name. We need my blood pressure medicine and gas.

I/we have freelance work (what might as well be considered a part time job, which makes about $500 dollars a month, which goes to rent). Circumstances prevent me from working outside the home, but I'm perfectly willing to take on more freelance/homework - if I can find any. Which so far is a no go. Unemployment from the previous job ran out during his schooling period. We lived off of our tax refund for a while but that money's run out, and the economic stimulus check won't be here for another month or so.

My husband Aus was working at the same job for seven years , but back injuries due to a car accident rendered him unable to do that job and he lost it. Vocational rehab sent him to school, and after seven months, he is now a Microsoft certified database administrator.

The problem? He can't find a job, in his field, or any other computer-related or receptionist type field, at all. We've tried online job services - Dice, Monster, etc. and we've tried the old fashioned method of buying the paper and circling the jobs and applying for those. We've gone down to the unemployment office and searched their job listings. We've faxed resumes, emailed applications, and made phone calls. Temp agencies say there are no jobs available in our area that match his qualifications.

Out of the countless jobs he's applied for.. he's only received three responses. One saying the applications won't be reviewed until end of May and the job won't start until June; one saying that he was under-educated (bachelors degree was what they were looking for); one saying that he had insufficient experience in his field (how do you get that if someone won't hire you?).

This will make the third week of the job search. Are we just expecting things to move too quickly? Is there some secret to job searching we're missing? Help!

Any tips that will help with our situation, either with the job search or finding additional freelance work, or living on a very,very limited income are very much appreciated. NO TROLLING. I'm stressed out enough as it is, thanks.